What's Your Excuse?

Can't-I only shoot things if there is plunder or rep involved (someday soon hopefully :)).

Help me! I'm in a conundrum wrapped in a mystery, buried in an enigma & shrouded in secrecy!
 
I can't help... I'm terrible at riddles.

A box without hinges, key or lid, Yet a golden treasure inside is hid. What is it?
(Totally didn't steal that riddle from The Hobbit.)
 
I can't answer that riddle... I'm allergic to eggs (lol I totally didn't answer it right there)

Somebody make me unallergic to eggs
 
I can't-they mutinied and we, I mean they, took your ship.
Can someone send Alphastaire some sea turtles to help get him off the island we, I mean they, marooned him on?
 
Sorry, but I can't send you the turtles because the port is full of pyrosharks!
Can the next person cast a sweep spell to get rid of the pyrosharks?
 
*Presses button to activate sweep but fails* Nope sorry mate that skill seems to be bugged.

*Takes off hat in salute* Give my regards to Davy Jones.

Can someone buy me a mushroom/black olive pizza?
 
Sorry. Not standard issue. You will have to be satisfied with your daily pound of biscuits, a gallon of beer, some nice salt pork, peas, and cheese. Maybe some lime juice in your grog. Can someone tell me where they are hiding all the ship material? Daddy has gold burning a hole in his pockets/treasure chests!
 
Sorry, I am more into Impressionism than Cubism.

Been finding the ship material now but can someone trade me iron for just about anything else? Got a ton of canvas I will give you a good deal on. ;)
 
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